➡️Sarcastic comments.
➡️Sulking when you mention getting up early on Saturday for an early workout.
➡️Constantly bringing home your favorite treats and ordering Deliveroo.
Weight loss is hard enough for most with a supportive network, but even more so when you feel like your loved ones are sabotaging you and your efforts. Yet, Something I witness on a daily basis with my coaching business is just that.
So. If you’ve ever wondered how to lose weight with an unsupportive partner, then maybe this is a read for you!
And hopefully this post will help you finally see some reasons why even people who love you shift into turd mode when you try to make big life change and what to do if you find yourself in this position to take control.
Why be like that?!
So firstly, If you want to know how to lose weight with an unsupportive other, I guess it would help to know some reasons WHY they might be behaving this way…
➡️Them thinking you are perfect enough already ❤️
➡️Your partner understands that the changes you’re making will require them to make some changes and resents (or is scared) of it!
➡️You are a yo-yo dieter, and your partner is bored of living it too.
➡️Your loved one doesn’t understand your process, or the types of changes that you are trying to implement to reach your goals.
➡️Nobody wants to be the fat friend, so sabotage is a great solution. 🤣
➡️Your other half feels threatened and is worried what other “changes” may follow with your success.
There are more, and obviously some of these are a bit easier to solve than others, BUT do any sound familiar to you?
Here are 5 tips to help you lose weight in an unsupportive environment.
1.DITCH THE VICTIM MENTALITY
Step one is to stop playing the victim!
Ok, so your “bestie” keeps arriving at your door with a bottle of wine to drown their sorrows discussing their shit life. But nobody makes you eat that packet of cookies, or ties to a chair so that you can’t come to one of my classes!
This behaviour is called a projection.
Projections assign exclusive responsibility to someone or something away from yourself, for who you are and who you ‘have to be. Laying the blame squarely on your partner for tempting you, or making you feel guilty when you give in to temptation, is a convenient distraction after all. But you are fooling nobody but yourself.
2.SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE
Im not implying that your network or friends and family don’t love you. But, do you yourself even fully understand the reasons WHY you seek to change your existing habits? If you don’t, then how can you expect others around you to?
Try this goal setting with a toddler exercise to help you answer your own questions.
“I want to lose 5kg”
Toddler: WHY?
“to feel better about myself”
Toddler: WHY?
“so my clothes fit better”
Toddler: WHY?
“because being overweight is negatively affecting my health”. Etc etc etc
Explaining to others WHY it’s so important to you might be all it takes. With change comes uncertainty, for you and your partner! Therefore being clear on what your journey will look like can help you to bring them on board.
3.ENFORCE BOUNDARIES
Hands up, how often do you let things slide in your relationship because you don’t want to rock the boat? 🙋🏽♂️
It feels scary sometimes to tell someone you love that they’re doing something that doesn’t work for you.
But, asking them kindly to stop bringing home the share bags of M&M’s because it’s becoming an issue with your weight control, could be a boundary you need to set right away.
4.GET HELP
Hopefully, your partner will get it together once you explain your why, set clear expectations, and enforce boundaries.
But what if they don’t?
I’ll be honest. It happens. I see it a lot!
I’ve had clients who’s other halves have mocked at their efforts, or told them “they are no fun anymore”.
And again, I’ll be honest. You probably need to ask yourself the question “is this a healthy relationship”? Your partner should be on your side more often than not and whilst I’m not suggesting divorce, if they bring you down, I do think help from an outsider or impartial coach like myself to keep you on track is therefore going to be crucial.
5.WHERE IS YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK ?
If you’re wondering how to lose weight with an unsupportive network of people in your world, it might help to think about why they also may not be fully on board with the process.
Obviously they may just need more info and time, they may not understand your motivations and desires, OR just maybe they may recognise that your goals could jeopardise your relationship or highlight their imperfections too.
Some of the positive feedback we always get from our REBOOT challenges highlight the incredible transformations couples attain that work together with their fitness and nutrition goals TOGETHER. Sometimes by default, with one partner preparing healthy meals and being more active. The other inevitably follows suit and also gets outstanding results over the process by default.
Do not underestimate how teamwork and a positive support network around you can often be the missing piece of the weight loss puzzle. Taking full ownership for your journey is an important step. But, explaining your why, describing your processes, setting and upholding boundaries, and getting help will increase your odds of success.